I'm a window..

sliding a little off center
I missed my Halloween..no paarties, or candy or friends or drinking..just the thoughts of everyone doing so...i hope you all had steller nights! I just kind of forget where i am.And my metropass doesnt work.

Current Mood: cold

I am a psycic.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I am all knowing.

Current Mood: cynical

Sooo close, and yet no cigar.
OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH.

Got mad drunkin yesterday, with danny and gwen (beers on danny, damn straight)...pretty good and yet awfully upsetting day and i talked alot which is never good for anyone, and i think i threw part of my beer at spencer, but he deserved it. And i dont know, maybe I react to things that shouldnt get any reaction out of me, but I think i am right on this one...i dunno, you dont lie and then tell someone their paranoid and should be on medication, do you? And maybe thats not the whole story and I am leaving shit out of my head, so...I dont know. Took a mental health day which basically meant I was too hungover to get up, and listened to really bad dance music all day while dreaming about doing something cool.

Current Mood: crushed

Carrot top
I have now joined Merle, Alison and Olivia, and become a redhead. Red is the new blonde mothafuckas!

(and by red i mean "i have alot of bleach in my hair already and it kinda messed with the dye...but its still red!)

Current Mood: nostalgic

damn.
Being drunk is so much more fun when you have a boyfriend to go home with...drunkin sex is funny sex which equals good...sorry, i am drunk. But i think drunkin sex with a boyfriend is way better then with someone random, cuz then the next morning your just like "hey babe, great sex" as apposed to"uhh yeah, i gotta go.." i dont know....drunk.

Current Mood: drunk

Sleep.
I'm so glad YOU have come back.

I missed a differernt YOU soo much its gross.

I love another one of YOU alot even if you dont think i do.

I'm going to miss another one of YOU a ton and a half.

and i miss YOU all and they way we used to be, but lets not live in the past.

God, i need to find a school.

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: and yet happy:)

Day 4
I hate when you're trying to sleep with the tv on, and you flip the channels looking for some show that isnt too distracting and you end up finding a bunch of stuff you actually want to watch, and then you dont really sleep. Damn you Scarface and Sex And the City!

Current Mood: groggy

woah.
Uhhh...tonight was...uhhh...intense. Breathing is vital to living and when people are having trouble doing that and proffesionals are called in, its a little scary...i hope everythings ok, i love you alll...and of course, i have to work tommorow.

Current Mood: anxious

Where did I find acid?
I just went back and read my entry for August 8th of last year...I was on an E boycott, but Natasha came over and gave me a line and we rolled a joint. Like....even my boycotting life was more exciting and action packed then any day now, and that was last year! You would think it would only get crazier as we got a little older, but no, I have prematurly turned into an old woman at the tender age of 17.
Yeah, so life is pretty low-key...work,smoking,a little bit of kookiness but not much...and its good to have Alison and Jessie back!

Current Mood: cheerful

Wheres the ocean?
Finally done working for 4 days in a row...phew! Chilled on the Island with Gwennie and Sam last night, we did K and walked around...and then Gwens friend never came through with pot, so we went on a journey around the island, stopping at the bridge to get me a sweater, and it just happens an island dealer walks up smoking a joint, so we got pot, smoked it and were stoooned...and have you ever noticed the lights on the CN Tower blink in a pattern?

Current Mood: calm

Pretty Party Pals Puked.
No word from Mr.Man about when I can give him his shit back...its kinda sad, but I miss him, but not really him I think, more the idea of him...went to Misha's birthday party...big apartment, bar,dj, the works, and alas I wasnt drunk enough to really enjoy, plus it was weird partying with girls I knew in kindergarden...oh how times have changed.Obviously Jory, that was kindergarden.I have decided I am going to get my nose re-pierced...its been exactly a year! Woah...I was thinking about that, and I know this sounds dumb, but its been a year since last summer...I live in the past too much.

Current Mood: nostalgic

scentless
I feel sad. How do YOU feel?

Almost a year
I miss old school summers...you know, where you were either young and going to camp or playing video games all day, or taking vacation with your parents...or more recent summers where you get up and go out at night and sleep all day and just have an awesome time...this summer is weird and I guess its what summer will be like from now on in life...I dunno, I'm always tired, working, I dont know what day it is most of the time...my days off, I just sleep...my room is so messy there are actually bugs in it, and yet I am too freakin tired to do anything about it...and its already the middle of July! WHERE DID SUMMER GO? and it doesnt even feel like summer, i havent done anything since April...I want a month off,I want paid leave...I even want to go to Vancouver with my family. Soo badly.

Current Mood: melancholy

Happy Birthday Ms. Love
Its been a shisty, shisty week. First off, we broke up...turns out he was Jess' boyfriend at the same time as he was mine. She didnt know, I didnt know, so we stood together at Bathurst and Queen for 40 min screaming at him passing cigarettes and booze back and forth...its cool though, I shall get over it.
And some of us went to a Cherry Beach thing, and there werent that many people there when i arrived, but some really cool guys, and some people I'd met before, and baby pictures and almost fighting and beautiful bisexual boys...by 7am Gwen and i decided to leave and this guy Paul gave us and Frances Valpy a ride to Inglenook, blasting rave music the whole way....a nice guy.
And last night I through a fit becasue I was locked out of my house, ripped a screen off a basement window and shimmied in. But shhhhh " i used my key".

Why is it when you feel the shitiest and looking nice would just make things better, do you look like shit?

Current Mood: gloomy

Glittery
Gwennie and I went to a rave on Saturday...really fun, but weird...pretty much everyone there was 15, e'd up and covered in sparkles. The rooms were all differnt themed,jungle room, Happy Hardcore room...and since Gwen got an ID for her birthday, we bought drinks, which were EXPENSIVE! (like $7 for a cooler)

Current Mood: rejuvenated

Mmmm margarine!
At Gwens, worked today...it was long. Not great past few days(for a lot of people I think) but yeah, life goes on. I think he might be gone...I dont know, I wont bother him. This weekend should be good...Gwennies birthday and such.Oh and can any of you make smoothies,hot dogs and use an expresso machine?

Current Mood: disappointed

Orliilio and Orange
Pretty frusterating couple of days...couldnt find smokes, no money, laziness on my part,work, UGH. And he was supposed to meet me yesterday at 11am, and never showed so i was hoping i had got the dates wrong and that he would today...no. I just want to know whats going on so i dont have to feel like the biggest loser ever.

Current Mood: confused

Another day, a few more dollars!
Saw a boy in the subway today with gold teeth, and decided he WILL be my husband. I missed the pride parade, which doesnt really mean a whole lot to me, but it reminds me of last summer, remember natasha? When we went and got drunk becasue we were still kinda sketching off last nights e's and we sat and didnt really watch the parade just got drunk? We missed fruitloops too...ah well, i dont actually remember much about the events themselves...what was fruitloops anyways?? And I dont work until Wednesday, so we should chill.

And happy birthday Sarah B my darling girl whom i havent seen in way to long!

From Sat to Sat, Sun to Sun
Intense past couple of days, man oh man. First off, I suppose i have what one would call a "boyfriend" but its been a week and i dont know what to think of it. Or what will happen with it. Sex, lots of booze...
Danny reappeard. We were walking down Queen and i hear my name and its him and he looks so much better and just got out of jail and gained like 30lbs in muscle which is weird cuz he has always been little druggie waif boy, as long as i've known him.So he came and chilled at Spelliots funnkily enough and we listened to rap and i got drunk and had to have a nap.
Working sucks, i mean its fun and i love the people, but still. I've barely slept all week.

"I think its just a matter of time before i'm out."

Current Mood: tired

Barges! I would like to go with you, I would like to sail the ocean blue!
Went camping this weekend!A va, Danielle, Spencer and I trekked into scarborough to the Rouge Valley for some outdoor adventuring...I kinda semi-ruined it for myself by starting the drinking a little too early, and then drinking and spewing and semi passing out and bitching to danielle about everything (including Ava and Spencer,who had dissapeared)And then i cried(ohhh god) and Spencer had to comfort my weeping about wanting to go back to camp and be 7 again and then we went down to the river and i passed out(the others had fallen asleep quite long before me). Woke up with a killer hangover, and then we realised we were out of water, so Ava and I had to drink river water...we'll see what happens. And she left and the rest of us chilled for another few hours and talked about serious stuff and about crap.

"hmmhmm i wanna linger hmmmhmm a little longer hmmhmm a little longer here with yyooouuuuu...."
(next time we have fire, camp songs are so required!)

Current Mood: calm

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